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150 Hospital and Health System CFOs to Know


Chicago, Illinois (PRWEB) September 10, 2014

Becker’s Hospital Review has published its list of “150 Hospital and Health System CFOs to Know,” which features some of the brightest leaders involved in financial aspects of the healthcare industry.

These men and women have demonstrated excellence in healthcare financial management by leading some of the largest, most prominent and financially successful health systems and hospitals in the nation.

The Becker’s Hospital Review editorial team considered nominations, reviewed prior Becker’s Hospital Review lists and conducted editorial research to develop this list. The list of “150 Hospital and Health System CFOs to Know” includes the following leaders:

Clint Adams. CFO of Ardent Health Services (Nashville, Tenn.).

Kendrick Adkins. CFO of Mayo Clinic (Rochester, Minn.).

Michael Allen. CFO of Gundersen Health System (La Crosse, Wis.).

Sue Anderson. Executive Vice President, CIO and CFO of Virginia Mason Medical Center (Seattle).

Katherine Arbuckle. Senior Vice President and CFO of Ascension Health (St. Louis).

Charles Ayscue. Senior Vice President of Finance and CFO of Mission Health (Asheville, N.C.).

Talana Bell. CFO of Flowers Hospital (Dothan, Ala.).

Jim Berend. Executive Vice President and CFO of Victory Healthcare (Houston).

Chris Bergman. Vice President and CFO of The Christ Hospital (Cincinnati).

Michael Blaszyk. Senior Executive Vice President, Chief Corporate Officer and CFO of Dignity Health (San Francisco).

Ron Blaustein. CFO of Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital (Chicago).

Sally Boemer. Senior Vice President and CFO of North Shore Medical Center (Salem, Mass.).

Mark Bogen. Senior Vice President of Finance and CFO of South Nassau Communities Hospital (Oceanside, N.Y.).

Kevin Brennan. Executive Vice President of Finance and CFO of Geisinger Health System (Danville, Pa.).

Robert Broermann, Senior Vice President and CFO of Sentara Healthcare (Norfolk, Va.).

Bill Brosius. Vice President and CFO of CHI St. Luke’s Health Baylor St. Luke’s Medical Center (Houston).

Mike Browder. Executive Vice President and CFO of RegionalCare Hospital Partners (Brentwood, Tenn.).

Michael Buhl. Senior Vice President and CFO of University of Wisconsin Hospital and Clinics (Madison).

Michael Burke. Senior Vice President, Vice Dean and CFO of NYU Langone Medical Center (New York City).

Daniel Cancelmi. CFO of Tenet Healthcare (Dallas).

Benjamin Carter. Executive Vice President of Finance and CFO of CHE Trinity Health (Livonia, Mich.).

Larry Cash. President of Financial Services and CFO of Community Health Systems (Franklin, Tenn.).

Paul Castillo. CFO of University of Michigan Health System (Ann Arbor).

Randy Combs. CFO of KentuckyOne Health (Louisville).

Mike Connors. Senior Vice President of Finance and CFO of Cape Cod Healthcare (Hyannis, Mass.).

Thomas Corrigan. Senior Vice President of Finance and CFO of Christiana Care Health System (Wilmington, Del.).

David Cox. CFO of Alameda Health System (Oakland, Calif.).

Gordon Crabtree. CFO of University of Utah Hospitals and Clinics (Salt Lake City).

Michael Crofton. Senior Vice President and CFO of TriHealth (Cincinnati).

Michael Curran, Executive Vice President, Chief Administrative and Financial Officer of MedStar Health (Columbia, Md.).

Dennis Dahlen. Senior Vice President and CFO of Banner Health (Phoenix).

Robert DeMichiei. Executive Vice President and CFO of UPMC (Pittsburgh).

Chris Denton. CFO of Henrico Doctors’ Hospital (Richmond, Va.).

Lori Donaldson. CFO of UC San Diego Health System.

Stephanie Doughty. CFO of Poudre Valley Hospital (Fort Collins, Colo.).

John Doyle. CFO of IASIS Healthcare (Franklin, Tenn.).

Jeff Ehlers. CFO of Memorial Hospital of Union County (Marysville, Ohio).

Chris Ellington. Executive Vice President and CFO of UNC Health Care (Chapel Hill, N.C.).

David Ertel. CFO of Einstein Healthcare Network (Philadelphia).

John Faulstich. CFO of UAB Health System (Birmingham, Ala.).

Steve Filton. Senior Vice President and CFO of Universal Health Services (King of Prussia, Pa.).

Steven Fischer. Senior Vice President of Finance and CFO of Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (Boston).

Kenneth Fisher. Associate Vice President for finance with UI Health Care and CFO of University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics (Iowa City).

Henry Franey. Executive Vice President and CFO of University of Maryland Medical System (Baltimore).

Lawrence Furnstahl, CFO of Oregon Health & Science University (Portland).

Duncan Gallagher. CFO of Allina Health (Minneapolis).

John Geppi. Executive Vice President and CFO of Covenant Health System (Knoxville, Tenn.).

Paul Generale. Senior Vice President and Senior Financial Officer of Christus Health (Irving, Texas).

Steven Glass. CFO and Treasurer of Cleveland Clinic.

Mike Gleason. Vice President and CFO of UF Health Jacksonville.

Robert Glenning. Executive Vice President and CFO of Hackensack (N.J.) University Medical Center.

Paul Goldstein. Vice President and CFO of Orlando (Fla.) Health.

Greg Gombar. Executive Vice President and CFO of Carolinas HealthCare System (Charlotte, N.C.).

Michael Gough. Senior Vice President and CFO of Norton Healthcare (Louisville, Ky.).

Joe Guarracino. Senior Vice President and CFO of The Brooklyn (N.Y.) Hospital Center.

Donald Halliwill. Assistant Treasurer, Executive Vice President and CFO of Carilion Clinic (Roanoke, Va.).

Kathleen Hanley. CFO of Promedica (Toledo, Ohio).

Misty Hansen. CFO of University of Arizona Health Network (Tucson).

Gail Hanson. Senior Vice President and CFO of Aurora Health Care (Milwaukee).

Fred Hargett. Executive Vice President and CFO of Novant Health (Winston-Salem, N.C.).

Scott Hawig. Senior Vice President of finance, CFO and Treasurer of Froedtert Health (Milwaukee).

Mark Hepler. CFO of Munson Healthcare (Traverse City, Mich.).

Pamela Hess. CFO of Saint Thomas Midtown and Saint Thomas West hospitals (Nashville, Tenn.).

Rick Hinds. Executive Vice President and CFO of UC Health (Cincinnati).

Linda Hoff, Senior Vice President and CFO of Legacy Health (Portland, Ore.).

Todd Hofheins. Senior Vice President and CFO of Providence Health & Services (Renton, Wash.).

Evan Jones. Senior Vice President and CFO of Lakeland (Fla.) Regional Health Systems.

Keith Kasper, Senior Vice President and CFO of University of Pennsylvania Health System (Philadelphia).

Robin Kilfeather-Mackey. CFO of Dartmouth-Hitchcock (Lebanon, N.H.).

Ryan Kitchell. Executive Vice President and CFO of Indiana University Health (Indianapolis).

Greg Klugherz. Vice President of Finance and CFO of CentraCare Health System (St. Cloud, Minn.).

Ronald Knaus. Senior Vice President and CFO of Spectrum Health (Grand Rapids, Mich.).

Paul Korth. CEO and CFO of Cookeville (Tenn.) Regional Medical Center.

Anne Krebs. CFO of Butler (Pa.) Health System.

Mark Krieger. Vice President and CFO of Barnes-Jewish Hospital (St. Louis, Mo.).

JoAnn Kunkel. Corporate CFO of Sanford Health (Fargo, N.D.).

Kathy Lancaster. Executive Vice President of Strategy and CFO of Kaiser Foundation Hospitals and Health Plan (Oakland, Calif.).

Phyllis Lantos. Executive Vice President, Treasurer and CFO of NewYork

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NuMale Medical Center Brings to Albuquerque Its Comprehensive, Science-Based Approach to Mens Health


Albuquerque, NM (PRWEB) August 13, 2014

A leading national provider of medical care for mens sexual health and enhancement, NuMale Medical Center, announced the opening of its newest facility today in Albuquerque. This is the companys sixth center, and its first in New Mexico. NuMales Albuquerque facility will continue the companys commitment to employing a safe, science-based approach to treat issues facing men of all ages.

Headed by Chief Medical Officer and founder Dr. Christopher Asandra, M.D., NuMale takes an integrated approach to male sexual health and overall wellness. At NuMale, every patient receives a comprehensive, confidential medical evaluation and consultation on their first visit. This helps the expert doctors at NuMale identify the most appropriate, individually tailored approach to address the patients needs.

NuMale offers a wide array of therapeutic services for men, including:

DrugNews: Study Links Popular Erectile Dysfunction Drug to Melanoma


Orlando, FL (PRWEB) June 18, 2014

The prescription drug safety center DrugNews.net has added new information for patients who have taken popular erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra. In a recent study, doctors found men who had taken these drugs had almost double the risk of developing the skin cancer melanoma*.

DrugNews was created to provide the latest on prescription drug recalls, safety alerts, research and litigation news to those patients using these products. Visitors can recognize potential dangers, see if others are experiencing similar side effects and decide if they need legal advice.

Viagra, or sildenafil, has been taken by an estimated 23 million men worldwide since it was introduced in 1998**.

DrugNews has now learned of a recent study published by the American Medical Association, which found those whove taken the drug have a 84% higher occurrence rate of melanoma*. The results were based on a study of more than 25,000 men of an average age of 65***.

Researchers noted that patients had a higher melanoma rate with the drug regardless of whether they had a family history of skin cancer, lived in areas with high ultraviolet light exposure, or had other kinds of cancer***. Melanoma is diagnosed in around 76,000 people each year, and results in about 9,700 deaths***.

Lawyers are investigating claims for those affected. Anyone diagnosed with melanoma after taking an erectile dysfunction drug is encouraged to visit DrugNews or speak with a lawyer about their legal options. DrugNews only recommends lawyers who have already handled ED skin cancer lawsuits.

For more information on the research, side effects and litigation news related to erectile dysfunction drugs and skin cancer, or to speak with a lawyer, visit http://www.DrugNews.net.

*JAMA, 4/7/14; http://archinte.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1857095

**NBC News, 4/4/13; nbcnews.com/id/8004291/ns/health-mens_health/t/blindness-noted-men-using-impotence-drugs/#.U4yQWyhwGfQ

***NBC News, 4/7/14; nbcnews.com/health/health-news/viagra-may-boost-risk-deadly-skin-cancer-study-finds-n73976







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It Happened


I bet you thought I was here to tell you I met someone. Sorry. Contain your excitement.

My worst nightmare happened.

No, not the one where my teeth fall out while I am taking a test that I didn’t study for and accidentally showed up naked for..

It’s that horrific real-life tale of horror on dating sites. You know the one.. the one where I’m checking my messages on a dating site and find that one of my students has sent me a message because they recognized me.

Relax…It’s less creepy than that sentence sounds in that I work at a university and most of the students I work with are well over 18 and a good number are older than I am.

Don’t relax too much though. It’s more creepy because it’s a student that a colleague and I always kept on a list titled “If something happens to me, this person will know where my body is.” The list is relatively short but important. I know that we’re usually half joking but this guy was a real piece of work and his batshit crazy eyes in real life come across VERY REALISTICALLY AND TRUTHFULLY in his dating profile picture.

In other news, I’ve pretty much decided that the overall system of rating individuals based on how much they have in common generally works on these sites because he messaged me despite the fact that we are 76% incompatible. It’s not just in my imagination, ya’ll. He really is too crazy for me.

This whole dating thing needs to move on and be over because I feel like this can only happen more the older I get.

I have to decide if it’s better to acknowledge the message and politely move on or just delete it and pretend like it never happened.

Ugh.

Put On The Red Light


To say that it started with the South Carolina game would be wrong. This chapter started with the South Carolina game, but not the entire book.

So this chapter picks up with me minding my own business on my day off in October, planning to leave for a little Dixieland delight weekend to see Tennessee play South Carolina. I was watching an episode of Gangland and doing the wash. And my phone rang to show this:

jerk face

 

I screen capped it because.. only I could manage to save someone’s number as “Jerk Face” and forget it was in my phone. For two seconds I couldn’t recall who might be known as Jerk Face. But realistically.. you all know who Jerk Face is, right?

Right. Friend. Not just any friend, The Friend. I should have declined. I should have hit the red button and just said “Never again.” but I didn’t. And I don’t know why. Sometimes there are questions in our lives that will never have answers. So many times with him I have wished to go back and hit a red reset button and stop everything that happened. But I can’t. I couldn’t then and I can’t now.

So I gave this thing the green light by pressing “answer” and saying hello. I invited mayhem into my life again. Come in, sit down, how’ve you been?

I tried all my old tricks of pretending not to know the number. “The is The Blonde,” I answered. “I know who I called. And you know who this is,” he almost growled into the phone. But not an agressive growl. One of ownership.

“What are you doing?” I asked the question meaning “Right now, in general, for the last year, anything” but only got the immediate answer. “Loading the dishwasher.”

And so it began, that dance that we do. I was rusty on the steps because I thought I wouldn’t have to know them anymore. One, and two, and three How-are-you and how-is-your-family and don’t-ask-anything-personal and always-be-funny, two-three four. Five, six, five, six, seven, eight.

We small talked for fifteen minutes before he cut to the chase. “Listen, I have tickets to the game tomorrow and nobody to go with. Are you going?”

My pulse quickened and I started to sweat. I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out. I knew the answer was supposed to be no-thank-you. I cleared my throat.

“Well are you or aren’t you?”

Am I? Am I what? Am I totally susceptible to your wicked ways and powerless against even a few words after so long?

“Yes, I am.”

“Then you’re coming with me and you’re sitting with me.”

The details were worked out, the meeting place established, and like that, it was all in my head again.

The details of the game are inconsequential. We met outside town, he drove me and my companion in, we sat together, and the game ended. Maybe the only thing of note is that Tennessee was driving down the field with less than a minute to go in the fourth quarter for the win, and the quarterback was sacked about five yards from the goal line. He was two steps away from getting away from the defender. But it caught up with him and he fumbled the chance. It was fun while it lasted.

After the game nothing changed. I went back to my car, went back home, went back to normal life. I didn’t hear from The Friend again until two weeks later, following a miserable home game loss to Missouri. I was sure that the coach would be fired. I cried all the way back to the car. I tried to distract myself by messaging The Boyfriend to talk about the miserable loss. But he wasn’t available to console my broken football heart, so I went to the grocery store. And while I was there, what comes up on my phone again but that Jerk Face label. Funny, I didn’t change it.

“They’re going to fire him.” I wailed into the phone, probably too dramatic for the situation, but it felt painful at the time.

“They are. And they have to. But I will take you to dinner.”

And in thirty minutes we were eating cheeseburgers and laughing at Bama losing to Texas A&M and making eyes across a table in a public place. When we split the German chocolate slice I knew I was in. And as I fumbled my keys in the dark I knew I should hit the red button but I couldn’t.

The next morning I resisted the urge to text my usual “had a wonderful time, don’t be a stranger” text because it never works. But to my surprise he texted me. And continued to text me, first, every day for three weeks. Early mornings, late nights, holiday, weekends. There were inside jokes, pictures, smileys. It was like old times. And I let it go on because I can’t push the red button.

And then one day it was over. As quickly as it started. He texted me a picture and then poof he stopped responding to me.

So here I am sitting in my office, unable to concentrate on my real life, because once again.. I’ve done something that I’m not even able to identify. Nothing I did yesterday was any different from what I did the day before, or the two days before that.

This is the problem with existing at someone’s whim. You never know what you’re doing and if it’s okay or if it’s wrong. You never know if the joke you tell is going to be what sends someone running, or if sending a smiley face is going to be the end of everything.

The thing is, it isn’t. It isn’t anything I do, other than existing. It’s a problem that I exist. Because I am a distraction from his reality, because I am a temptress from what is good. So even if there was nothing wrong with what I wrote back, it’s all up to his whim. Everything has always been on his terms.

I figure the options are pretty much as follows: he lost his phone/fell off a cliff/whatever else makes me sleep better at night, he enjoys making me miserable (probable), he feels guilty and/or got caught by his wife (likely).

These things used to wreck me for months. I would be distraught and unable to work, eat, or sleep. And I would drool like Pavlov’s dog when I heard my phone buzz (and even when I didn’t..the phantom iPhone vibration is the worst). But I am determined not to let this wreck me for long than a day. I deleted the number entirely, and that’s great because I didn’t give myself time to remember it.

I know that the choice will come again, that I will have to choose between red and green, good and evil, mentally healthy and unhealthy. There is no use beating myself up for this choice. I will just make the right choice next time.

Hi.

 

Help A Sister Out

Posted on

Hey ya’ll.

This is not a typical post. This is a plea for help from a friend of mine. It’s relationship related, so I feel it’s okay to bring it up here!

My friend has a problem–a nasty break up has left her feeling heart-sick and she has texted the boy a few times to no avail. My first thought was “stop, you’ll look like me!” (see example: Image)

Too late, already there she says. At a certain point too many texts in a row start to pile up.

My suggestion to her was to write down the texts, think about it a day, and then determine if she really wants to send it. I also suggested deleting the number and restoring your phone so you can’t recover it. That worked for me once.

I feel her pain. I think texting is so tempting post-break up. Calling seems like a huge undertaking. I mean, there’s a 50% chance they might pick up the phone. Texting seems innocuous enough that you can send one or two without it being too extreme on the bad ex-girlfriend scale. (Trust me when I say that The Boyfriend will vouch that texting was the least of my problems on that scale. Eek). Texting, in my opinion, is prevalent in a break up where calling may not be.

Anyway, I need suggestions beyond my solutions. It seems silly but that’s the best I’ve got. I am absolutely no pro at abstaining from contact (I submit that previous screen shot as proof). I need your input here…what’s your suggestion?

I know many of you read but few of you comment. Be loud this time! Have you figured out the secret? Is there no way around it? Tell Brunette it’s not abnormal. Tell her there’s a solution.

Thanks ya’ll.

Now And Then I Think Of All The Times You Screwed Me Over

Posted on

This Is It

Posted on

I am a good liar. In fact, I’m such a good liar that I will often lie to people about what a bad liar I am. It’s twisted and something that I figure only a therapist can work through. But for nearly two months I’ve been finding it harder and harder to lie about something in particular. Don’t worry, I’m still lying when I say I didn’t see your text, or that I have plans (I never have plans, I don’t even want to have plans anymore) and I’m definitely still lying when I say I’ve read the Terms of Service Agreement for anything I sign up for.

 

I just can’t lie to myself. I can’t keep telling myself that it’s all okay when it’s really not. For about six months or so after I moved out of the apartment with The Boyfriend (Jesus Christ I have to get another name for him) I had trouble making it through the drive to work or the drive home without tears welling up in my eyes. I think it was the immediate feelings of lonesomeness that drove me to cry. I was clinically depressed for various reasons, and when I finally learned to be comfortable in my skin it stopped. But for the past two months it’s crept in again. I find myself gripping the steering wheel too tightly, turning off the radio because I don’t want to hear another rendition of Call Me Maybe, and without even realizing it tears drip onto my cheeks out from under my sunglasses.

It’s usually over before I get home, but the other night I sat at the bar with Bosslady and finally managed to squeak out the words that I had avoided for four years. “What if this is all there is?”

I think Bosslady was confused because I put up a pretty good front most of the time. I am the life of the party and of the day-to-day. In fact, I swear to God that I invented YOLO. For so long I have been the girl who will stay out at any hour of any night, will be down for anything fun. And any time somebody might have the ‘audacity’ to ask me what I’m doing with my life, what I’m planning on doing in the future, and why I don’t have somebody in my life, I’ve been the very first person to tell you that 27 is too young for all that. It’s too young to be married, too young to have children, too young to be tied to a mortgage, and certainly too young to be worried if you don’t have these things. You can be old for a long time. You only have a limited amount of time to be young and wild.

I put up a brave fight and I have plenty of fun sayings to explain why I’m too fabulous to be tied down, but the truth is for the past couple of months I’ve really had the sinking feeling that maybe this is all I am–a good friend, a good daughter, a good employee. But not a good wife. Or a good mother.

“You’re too young to think that way”, she said, as I started to cry harder than I should have in a bar.

“Some people don’t get married, some people don’t have children.” I think that’s what I said, but I’m fairly certain neither of us really understood what I said. She made do with what she heard.

“Listen, you have to be certain that if this is all there is for you, and I don’t think that’s the case, but if it is, you have to sure that what you have is good. Are you okay if this is all there is?”

What I have is good. I have a job that I love. It pays my bills. My friends are great people, they really do enrich my life. And I love my family. But that’s not enough for me. There are things I want to experience in life. I want a partner, I want to have children. I want a family of my own.

And there is no material item, no vacation, no friend that can make it well with my soul if I it doesn’t happen for me. I could drive a Maserati and live in a gated community and have a toilet made of solid gold and it would not be well with my soul that I didn’t have a partner or child. And I’m beginning to think that may not happen.

So what now? What do I do when I know that nothing will make this good with my soul?

It takes a really messed up person to start doubting yourself and your ability to find a mate at 27. But that’s where I am.

The Friend is married, another guy wrote me the other day to tell me he’s getting married. Thanks for the heads-up. And The Boyfriend moved on pretty easily. Going to get married. Married, married, married.

And here I sit with this failure of a blog that has only really successfully detailed for you my inability to move on from these ‘tragedies’ that other people so easily have moved past. I mean, The Boyfriend and I are Facebook friends now and he actually sends me friendly messages–that’s how okay that whole thing is now. Why am I the one that ended up alone out of all these people I know? I know that’s a selfish way to look at it. But sometimes I feel selfish. Sometimes I would think all those boys would call me selfish. Sometimes? Most of the time.

The thing is…I thought I did all the heavy lifting. I thought I took the time to evaluate myself, make myself better, figure out what I wanted in life. I thought that I slowed down and that was the right thing. I thought out of all of us, I would be the healthiest because I was figuring out what went wrong. But maybe I didn’t. Maybe I just took all my momentum.

I don’t know. I just know that there are times of the day that I freeze and wonder if it’s really not going to happen for me.

You know what, I’m fine. I have plans. I’m too young to worry about this.

 

Why Are You Hiding Behind That Espresso Machine?

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I haven’t logged in to my FormSpring account in a while, so imagine my surprise when I noted that I actually had pending questions there. One of the first questions I noticed was something that I have had several hits for in Google searches this week. Since obviously you’re coming here for direction on this subject, poor person, let me tell you my thoughts…

 

Hi The Blonde.. Is Coffee Cheating?

Well hmm. First, let me just say that I am so sad to report that if you’re looking for someone with experience cheating, I’m your girl. I sincerely regret having an affair every single day of my existence for so many reasons. But maybe I can tell you the signs to look for so you can avoid my pitfall.

Of course, there are simple ways to know if it’s cheating. Maybe I’ll just list out some things you should ask yourself:

  • Did you meet this person on a dating site? Stop laughing! You would be surprised how many people Google the phrase “my husband has an OKCupid account”. If you are on a dating site, whether your relationship status says “in a relationship” or not and you meet someone for coffee, you’re clearly checking out the scene. You could be cheating.
  • Does your partner know? Have you explicitly said to your partner “I am meeting (this person) for coffee. I will be there at (this time) and will be home around (this time).” If you have, good for you. If you haven’t, you may be cheating. If you told them you’re meeting someone as a cover and are actually meeting someone else (whether you know the date or not, whether your partner knows the date or not!), you could be cheating. Also, just a side note, if you tell your partner you’re meeting ‘some people from work’ out for coffee and only the two of you show up.. and you knew that ahead of time.. guess what? You could be cheating. Trust me, in my experience nothing good ever came out of that situation. Sorry, He-Wh0-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Seriously, y’all, if you bend the truth about that meeting at all.. it’s not right.
  • Did you ask the person because you feel like you are unsure if you want to cheat or not? Your partner probably isn’t going to buy this one, but I can say it’s a possibility. But still, you could be cheating. That’s like playing ‘Just the Tip’. In my book, it counts.
  • What would you tell a third-party you saw out? Would you feel confident in an introduction? Would you hide behind a menu in a Chinese restaurant and try to sink into the floor and pray that your heartbeat pounding in your throat isn’t audible (not that I have done that..)? That makes a huge difference. If it’s coffee with a coworker and you’d still feel funny about it… you know the story.

These are just four questions that I ask myself when I’m assessing how I feel about meeting someone out. While there is no litmus test at all for “cheating” or measuring just how far is too far, I will say that my number one biggest red-flag is “Does it feel it wrong?” Does it feel like something you should hide, something you’d be sensitive about, something you wouldn’t tell your partner? If it does.. really, really think about your motivation for going. Think about how you’d feel if your partner found out. Whether its relief (uh that’s a huge hint) or shame (hello?!) whatever you find in that question could be a guide for the future. I’m not saying you shouldn’t meet that person for coffee. I’m just saying know what you’re getting in to. Maybe your coffee mate is something you want to pursue.

 

So think about it. And then call me because if it’s a toxic idea I’m almost always involved (sigh).

 

***DISCLAIMER: Every relationship is different, I am no expert, one woman’s accusation of cheating is another woman’s rosey-relationship, I’m not responsible for anything you do in your real life, don’t blame me, blah blah blah. I get it. This is just how I’d answer the question myself.

 

Here’s the fun part.. you get to tell me how wrong I am in the comments! Go!

Liberating Your Pleasure Wave And Other Philosophical Observations By OKCupid Users

Posted on

The good news is in between the last time I complained about OkCupid and today, I found the button to disable my profile. The bad news is that leaves me with very little fodder to feed you readers because all of my humorous stories originated from the misguided aim of Cupid’s arrow.

I’ve always felt a little guilty about taking specific examples from my OKCupid interactions and posting them because it DOES take guts to contact matches on dating websites. I rarely do it myself because it’s hard to put yourself out there, and I admire those of you who do it regularly! But for the love of everything holy, what are some of these people thinking?! Still, I like to think that despite the fact that I am a cold-hearted, cheating ex-Girlfriend I do have some compassion left in my heart. So I’ve held off sharing the specific instances that caused guffaws. Unless I actually met them in person. I don’t know why the rules changed then.

Lucky for you a good friend sent me a Buzzfeed link with 26 examples of absolutely horrible OKCupid combinations. Seems like the people at Buzzfeed are more willing to jump in the hand-basket destined for the home of ragged clothing and flames than I am. You should check this out– some are pictures, some are quotes, some are both. Please note the gentlemen that wants to liberate your pleasure wave. I’ll give you a 10 second headstart, ladies, otherwise he’s mine.

Since I did close down my OKCupid account I feel like I can share with you the message that caused me to throw my hands up and say “Why am I trying?” (and “What is wrong with my writing skills that this is what I’m attracting). It’s definitely not the worst I’ve gotten on there. I’ve gotten messages that would make 50 Shades of Gray fans blush– I think it’s the plight of a blonde lady to take disgusting messages on dating websites. I’ve gotten random questions (“What flavor of yogurt are you? I actually answered that one!) and friendly suggestions (thank you, gentleman who said I should take out the paragraph about my love of college football! you made me feel very good about myself). But this was the last straw, and I don’t know why:

 

But…what about unicorns?!

What about you readers? Do you like waterfalls, rainbows, and fields filled with flowers? Let me know, I might know somebody you should meet!

 

(One day I will stop being a bitch, okay?)

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