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Living Heart Foundation HOPE Program and Pro Player Health Alliance Tackling Sleep Apnea with NFL Greats to be Featured on PBS


Chicago, IL (PRWEB) July 05, 2014

Since taking the country by storm four years ago, Pro Player Health Alliance (PPHA) has treated hundreds of former professional athletes and their families for sleep apnea. Their mission has received increasing coverage in the media after PPHA began working through the Living Heart Foundation and its HOPE Program sponsored by the NFL Players Association (NFLPA). Recently it has been confirmed that PBS will be producing a short film in Chicago with Richard Dent, Roy Green, Archie Roberts who is the founder of Living Heart Foundation and other unconfirmed players in regards to tackling sleep apnea with NFL greats.

In addition to Dr. Todd Swick, Board Certified Sleep M.D., David Gergen, President of PPHA and Dental Director of the American Sleep and Breathing Academy, will also be featured in the film with Dr. Wolf who is a member in the academy and has taken hours of courses on dental sleep medicine. Mr. Gergen has said in reference to the several previous and planned health evaluations in different cities for retired NFL players, Andre Collins of the NFLPA and Dr. Roberts of the Living Heart Foundation are doing a fantastic job of helping the former players. Without them, a lot of these guys wouldnt have been treated. Traveling the country to conduct health evaluations for the players is all part of the HOPE Program created by Dr. Archie Roberts. Due to the health risks associated with sleep apnea, David Gergen and PPHA partners have teamed up with the program to oversee that aspect of the evaluation as the experts on the sleeping disorder.

The dedication of David Gergen and NFL greats such as Roy Green, Mike Haynes, Derek Kennard, Mark Walczak and many more to spreading word of sleep apnea and getting people tested have been the driving force behind what they call the “Tackling Sleep Apnea” campaign. Stemming from their own personal struggles with sleep apnea, they are compelled to help others and together have spread the word to thousands across the United States and are even rumored to be looking into going global with PPHAs awareness mission.

About Pro Player Health Alliance:

The Pro-Players Health Alliance (PPHA) is an organization dedicated to helping former NFL players, through providing testing and treatment options for those who suffer from sleep apnea. In addition, the PPHA is dedicated to integrating education and raising sleep apnea awareness, in a fun and memorable way. In addition to the campaign, the PPHA is dedicated to testing and getting people treated who suffer from sleep apnea. This has been stepped up by working though The Living Heart Foundation and its HOPE program sponsored by the NFLPA. The PPHA was created David Gergen, President of Gergens Orthodontic Laboratories and Former NFL legends.

About David Gergen:

David Gergen, CDT, rolled out of bed on December 4, 1982 and had his career ah ha moment. He knew he was going to be an orthodontic technician and he knew he was going to help people all over the country to help treat their sleep disorders in partnership with their dentists. David Gergen opened his family-owned orthodontic lab in Phoenix, AZ in 1986 and now employees over 80 people. David Gergen has been a nationally respected dental lab technician for over 25 years. He received the award for “The Finest Orthodontic Technician in the Country” given by Columbus Dental in 1986. He also received a lifetime achievement award by the Gelb Academy as Americas greatest Orthodontic technician of all time, in 2012. He has worked for some of the pioneers in the orthodontic and sleep dentistry fields. Gergen and his father John Gergen began Gergen Orthodontic labs in 1984 and have grown it into one of the most respected labs in the country. One of his proudest achievements is receiving The National Leadership award for Arizona Small Businessman of the Year in 2004. David is the Dental Director of the American Sleep and Breathing Academy and he has also taken a spot at Tufts University teaching seminars for the Continuing-Ed program on Dental Sleep Medicine.







DrugNews Adds Skin Cancer Warning for Popular Erectile Dysfunction Drug


New York, NY (PRWEB) June 04, 2014

The prescription drug safety advocates at DrugNews.net are alerting patients who have taken popular erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra of new information on the site. A recent study found that men taking these medications were nearly twice as likely to develop melanoma skin cancer*.

DrugNews is a free resource for patients taking popular prescription drugs. By providing the latest recalls, safety alerts, research and litigation news, visitors can recognize potential dangers, see if others are experiencing similar side effects and decide if they need legal advice.

Viagra, or sildenafil, has been taken by an estimated 23 million men worldwide since it was introduced in 1998**.

Now, DrugNews has learned of a new study published by the American Medical Association finding those who have used the drug have a 84% higher occurrence rate of melanoma*. The results were based on a study of more than 25,000 men of an average age of 65***.

Researchers found the results held true regardless of whether patients had a family history of skin cancer, lived in areas with high ultraviolet light exposure, or had other kinds of cancer***.

Melanoma is diagnosed in around 76,000 people each year, and results in about 9,700 deaths***.

Lawyers are investigating claims for those affected. Anyone diagnosed with melanoma after taking an erectile dysfunction drug is encouraged to visit DrugNews or speak with a lawyer about their legal options. DrugNews only recommends lawyers who have already handled ED skin cancer lawsuits.

For more information on the research, side effects and litigation news related to erectile dysfunction drugs and skin cancer, or to speak with a lawyer, visit http://www.DrugNews.net.

*JAMA, 4/7/14; http://archinte.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1857095

**NBC News, 4/4/13; nbcnews.com/id/8004291/ns/health-mens_health/t/blindness-noted-men-using-impotence-drugs/#.U4yQWyhwGfQ

***NBC News, 4/7/14; nbcnews.com/health/health-news/viagra-may-boost-risk-deadly-skin-cancer-study-finds-n73976







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Pittsburgh Hypnosis Expert Dan Vitchoff Introduces Revolutionary New Anxiety Treatment for Children and Adults


Pittsburgh, PA (PRWEB) June 23, 2014

The world has become overrun with stress and anxiety. People are being bombarded with stress at home, stress at work and even their own person stress that no one else knows about. Pittsburgh Hypnosis Expert and Olympic Gold Medal winning mental training coach has been helping clients reduce stress and anxiety for years. He has had years of experience in working with Olympic and Professional athletes to help them alleviate the anxiety that goes along with competing at such a high level of competition such as the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the World Series or the Stanley Cup. Throughout his years of work with athletes and clients in his Pittsburgh, PA based, PA Hypnosis Center, he has developed a system of mental training and hypnosis called, the 33 Method that encompasses a unique combination of hypnosis, psychology, nlp (neuro-linguistic programming, visualization and imagery. The 33 Method was propelled into the National Spotlight when it was used to help Vincent Hancock and Glenn Eller win Gold Medals at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, China and then again when Hancock repeated his Gold Medal Performance in London in 2012. Vitchoff invented the Original Mind Gym so that his athletes would actually have a physical place or location where they could go to practice their mental training with just as much if not more precision than they use to train their bodies. Vitchoff equipped the Olympic Training Facilities with the Original Mind Gym so that his athletes could continue their mental preparations right up until it was time to compete.

Vitchoff has now, once again, taken the 33 Method to a whole new level by adding in a new dimension of brain tones which he uses to stimulate the relaxation center of the brain to help his clients prepare for their mental training and hypnosis sessions. Vitchoff worked hand in hand with experts in the field of brain study at Harvard University to determine what effect specific types of tones had on the brain and developed new technology that would facilitate the use of the tones with his clients in conjunction with his 33 Method mental training and hypnosis sessions. The only way to measure the success of treatment for stress and anxiety is through actual client experiences. Vitchoffs 33 Method has improved the lives of hundreds of adults and children throughout various walks of lives. Names of the following families may have been altered to protect their privacy, however, the stories are real and the results from this revolutionary new treatment are real.

Tina Palmer wrote a letter to PA Hypnosis Center, thanking Dan Vitchoff for helping her 11 year old daughter overcome anxieties related to being bullied at school over several years. She had no idea how bad the anxiety from the bullying had been until she discovered her daughter had been cutting herself, which unfortunately, is a growing concern among pre-teen and teen age children. “Our daughter had hid her problems at school with being bullied. It wasnt until we found her hurting herself by cutting that we found out what was going on. We immediately contacted her pediatrician for help. She then had professional care from a psychiatrist and a councilor. Was put on mediation to help relieve the stress she was feeling. After the first few weeks of care, she began hurting herself in more areas of her body. My husband and I decided we needed more help and looked into adding additional ways to help our daughter; this is how we found Daniel Vitchoff. After her second visit with him, our daughter completely stopped hurting herself. After months of treatment she has done wonderfully. She is positive, more outgoing and is carrying straight As in school. My husband, daughter and I are very grateful that we looked into additional treatments available and are so extremely happy and forever thankful to Dan Vitchoff for helping us beyond what we could do for our daughter. I could never 100% put into words how PA Hypnosis Center has changed all of our lives for the positive. Our daughter is now 13 and the bullying began when she was 11.”

Tinas daughter was struggling with the heartbreak and anxiety that so many children suffer from and with Vitchoffs help she was able to overcome this anxiety and take back control of her life and her future, she truly is a remarkable young woman and an inspiration to children everywhere that are struggling with bullying and anxiety.

In this constantly connected world of smart phones, emails, text messages and around the clock conference calls and business meeting and trying to juggle work and family, adults are also experiencing more stress and anxiety than ever before. Vitchoff has successfully used his 33 Method in conjunction with the brain tones to help several of his clients reduce stress and anxiety. He has also worked with several soldiers returning from war to help them address issues related to PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Vitchoff explains, When a person is experiencing high levels of stress, research has showed an increase in cortisol levels in the body. When the body goes into the fight or flight response which is a normal response to stress and anxiety cortisol, also known as the stress hormone is released from the adrenal gland in the kidneys. It is crucial that people learn how to initiate a relaxation response to help the body return to normal body functions. When the relaxation response is not initiated the body continues to release higher levels of cortisol. Over time high levels of Cortisol, also known as the stress hormone in the body have been linked to several health complications such as impaired cognitive functions, suppressed thyroid function, blood sugar imbalances, decreased bone density, muscle atrophy, higher blood pressure, lower immune system and higher risk for heart disease, stroke and diabetes.

According to Dan Vitchoff, Pittsburgh Hypnotist and Mental Training Coach, many people turn to food, smoking or alcohol to help cope with stress which in turn causes more stress.

As Vitchoff mentioned, many people suffering from anxiety whether it is generalized anxiety or PTSD turn to alcohol to self-medicate which ultimately leads to more stress and anxiety. Luanne Smith had recently been 302ed, even jailed as a result of her 25 year struggle with alcoholism. She estimated that she would drink about a fifth of whiskey a day. She had been to AA, through various treatment programs and nothing had worked. She was a teacher, married with 3 children and could not seem to gain control over her drinking on her own. After working with Dan Vitchoff and PA Hypnosis Center she says, “Today, I have embraced my life, I feel fulfilled and happy. I am truly grateful for all of Dans help. I truly believe that after my sessions with Dan Vitchoff a true miracle has occurred. A change has taken place in me.” Luanne has been sober since August of 2011.

Vitchoff uses his brain tones and 33 Method Mental Training and Hypnosis Programs to re-wire the brain to initiate that relaxation response so that the client can experience an immediate sense of relief, comfort and relaxation. In addition to overcoming stress and anxiety, the 33 Method can also be used to help people lose weight, stop smoking, reduce alcohol consumption, overcome fears, phobias, nail biting, sleep issues, insomnia, improve confidence, enhance sports performance, public speaking, relationship issues and more.







New Guide Created – Edrugstore.md Leads the Way in Educating Consumers About Fake Medications


Tempe, AZ (PRWEB) January 05, 2012

These days, consumers can buy anything online. From Ebay to Amazon, online retailers to grocery store vendors, there is no shortage of fast and easy ways to get products delivered straight to a consumers home. While technology has granted us this convenience, there are still a lot of traps that consumers need to be aware of, especially when it comes to ordering medications through an Internet facilitator. Edrugstore.MD is proud to release a guide that educates the consumer on how to avoid counterfeit pills.

Edrugstore.MD has created and distributed helpful guides for consumers to spot fake pills. The top two tips to avoid fake medications are:

1.) Never buy medications from sources outside of the United States

There are hundreds of websites located out there that offer rock-bottom prices for medications who want to get their medications outside of the U.S., Marketing Strategist Vinny Ciancio for Edrugstore.MD said. We caution everyone against these sites because these medications are often created in unsafe conditions and can be harmful to your health.

As an online facilitator, Edrugstore.MD insures the quality and authenticity of each medication with U.S. certified physicians and U.S. certified pharmacists. All of the medications are U.S. FDA approved and purchased directly from leading U.S. pharmaceutical manufacturing companies.

2.) Never buy generics

The most popular counterfeit pills sold online are those for erectile dysfunction. Marketers try to sell generic Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, but the FDA has not approved any generic form of these medications.

Consumers should keep their eye out for sites that claim to sell any kind of generic or herbal form of erectile dysfunction drugs, Ciancio said. Another red flag should go up if a consumer sees long shipping times, that could indicate the drugs are coming from another country.

At Edrugstore.MD the medications come licensed pharmacies, which guarantees the medication sold is the real deal.

The health risks

Fake medications are no joking matter. Unsafe medications can cause serious illness, or even death. In 2008, an estimated 80 Americans died after being given counterfeit heparin, a drug used to treat blood clots.

Its a serious problem in the United States right now, Ciancio said. The bottom line is that consumers need to be aware of these counterfeit pills and they need to buy medications from reputable Internet facilitators, otherwise the risks could be fatal.

For more helpful tips on consumer safety from Edrugstore.MD, make sure to Follow Edrugstore.MD on Twitter and Edrugstore.MD on Facebook.

About Edrugstore.MD

As a trusted online facilitator, our first priority is to the consumer. Over the past 9 years Edrugstore.MD has built a solid reputation as an Internet facilitator for consumers in need of lifestyle medications.

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Making the Most out of Your Cashback Cards

Today, a big trend in charge cards is obtaining cash back or benefits for the buys. Many folks count on charge cards to make daily buys, large purchases, as well as spend statements. Getting something back for the outlay makes a lot of perception, and is one cause why some folks have credit cards whatsoever.
Although cash back credit cards may be a terrific benefit, they’ren’t constantly a good monetary choice. Yearly costs, rates of interest, and rules and conditions can all make a cash-back card expense you more cash ultimately. Fortunately, if you follow some basic guidelines, you should have the ability to find a good cash-back card that’ll raise your gains instead than consider them apart. The guidelines below are recorded by the group of our associate’s company website, comparecashbackcards.net.
Likewise, interest rates are yet another variable that you should consider closely. As a way to make money, credit cards include a specific interest price that is calculated into your payment. The greater your balance, the more curiosity you spend each month. Individuals with the finest credit scores frequently obtain the lowest interest rates. Several cashback cards come with greater interest rates, in order to offset the cost of providing cash back. If the card is going to be more expensive in interest than you’ll bring in in cash-back, it’s not worth implementing for. Only like with yearly fees, there are low interest cashback cards available if you do your investigation.
Finally, you’ll need to take a look at the rules and regulations that come alongside the cashback card. For example, some cards might merely offer cashback if you shop at certain shops, or for certain items including petrol. Should you not utilize these shops, or don’t purchase gasoline with a card, you won’t earn several compensations, and so an alternate card may be a much better option for you. Additionally, some cards might have stipulations that limit the number of cash back it is possible to get each year, or will just let you to withdraw your advantage after a particular sum. If your card just lets 0 in cashback per yr, and you invest much greater than that, your buys are being squandered. If your card will simply allow you to draw once you reach , and you never get that large, or the rewards are re-set each yr, you might pass up on what you have made. Constantly read the fine print before applying for a card.
First, when looking for a cash back card, it’s important to take a look at the yearly fee. Many cards charge an annual fee merely for being a member. This charge may range anywhere from to 5. Most people do not think much of the payment because it’s only once a year, and they are more drawn in by the advertised rewards. Nevertheless, several charge cards just provide 1-2% cash-back on purchases, even though some will offer up to 5%. Determined by how much you spend, you may only earn in per year, creating that money yearly charge perhaps not worth it. Alternatively, if you are a big spender and strategy on getting straight back a greater quantity of cash back, the annual fee may not matter a great deal to you. Fortunately, there are many cards accessible without yearly payment in any way, the socalled 0% apr credit cards.

It Happened


I bet you thought I was here to tell you I met someone. Sorry. Contain your excitement.

My worst nightmare happened.

No, not the one where my teeth fall out while I am taking a test that I didn’t study for and accidentally showed up naked for..

It’s that horrific real-life tale of horror on dating sites. You know the one.. the one where I’m checking my messages on a dating site and find that one of my students has sent me a message because they recognized me.

Relax…It’s less creepy than that sentence sounds in that I work at a university and most of the students I work with are well over 18 and a good number are older than I am.

Don’t relax too much though. It’s more creepy because it’s a student that a colleague and I always kept on a list titled “If something happens to me, this person will know where my body is.” The list is relatively short but important. I know that we’re usually half joking but this guy was a real piece of work and his batshit crazy eyes in real life come across VERY REALISTICALLY AND TRUTHFULLY in his dating profile picture.

In other news, I’ve pretty much decided that the overall system of rating individuals based on how much they have in common generally works on these sites because he messaged me despite the fact that we are 76% incompatible. It’s not just in my imagination, ya’ll. He really is too crazy for me.

This whole dating thing needs to move on and be over because I feel like this can only happen more the older I get.

I have to decide if it’s better to acknowledge the message and politely move on or just delete it and pretend like it never happened.

Ugh.

Put On The Red Light


To say that it started with the South Carolina game would be wrong. This chapter started with the South Carolina game, but not the entire book.

So this chapter picks up with me minding my own business on my day off in October, planning to leave for a little Dixieland delight weekend to see Tennessee play South Carolina. I was watching an episode of Gangland and doing the wash. And my phone rang to show this:

jerk face

 

I screen capped it because.. only I could manage to save someone’s number as “Jerk Face” and forget it was in my phone. For two seconds I couldn’t recall who might be known as Jerk Face. But realistically.. you all know who Jerk Face is, right?

Right. Friend. Not just any friend, The Friend. I should have declined. I should have hit the red button and just said “Never again.” but I didn’t. And I don’t know why. Sometimes there are questions in our lives that will never have answers. So many times with him I have wished to go back and hit a red reset button and stop everything that happened. But I can’t. I couldn’t then and I can’t now.

So I gave this thing the green light by pressing “answer” and saying hello. I invited mayhem into my life again. Come in, sit down, how’ve you been?

I tried all my old tricks of pretending not to know the number. “The is The Blonde,” I answered. “I know who I called. And you know who this is,” he almost growled into the phone. But not an agressive growl. One of ownership.

“What are you doing?” I asked the question meaning “Right now, in general, for the last year, anything” but only got the immediate answer. “Loading the dishwasher.”

And so it began, that dance that we do. I was rusty on the steps because I thought I wouldn’t have to know them anymore. One, and two, and three How-are-you and how-is-your-family and don’t-ask-anything-personal and always-be-funny, two-three four. Five, six, five, six, seven, eight.

We small talked for fifteen minutes before he cut to the chase. “Listen, I have tickets to the game tomorrow and nobody to go with. Are you going?”

My pulse quickened and I started to sweat. I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out. I knew the answer was supposed to be no-thank-you. I cleared my throat.

“Well are you or aren’t you?”

Am I? Am I what? Am I totally susceptible to your wicked ways and powerless against even a few words after so long?

“Yes, I am.”

“Then you’re coming with me and you’re sitting with me.”

The details were worked out, the meeting place established, and like that, it was all in my head again.

The details of the game are inconsequential. We met outside town, he drove me and my companion in, we sat together, and the game ended. Maybe the only thing of note is that Tennessee was driving down the field with less than a minute to go in the fourth quarter for the win, and the quarterback was sacked about five yards from the goal line. He was two steps away from getting away from the defender. But it caught up with him and he fumbled the chance. It was fun while it lasted.

After the game nothing changed. I went back to my car, went back home, went back to normal life. I didn’t hear from The Friend again until two weeks later, following a miserable home game loss to Missouri. I was sure that the coach would be fired. I cried all the way back to the car. I tried to distract myself by messaging The Boyfriend to talk about the miserable loss. But he wasn’t available to console my broken football heart, so I went to the grocery store. And while I was there, what comes up on my phone again but that Jerk Face label. Funny, I didn’t change it.

“They’re going to fire him.” I wailed into the phone, probably too dramatic for the situation, but it felt painful at the time.

“They are. And they have to. But I will take you to dinner.”

And in thirty minutes we were eating cheeseburgers and laughing at Bama losing to Texas A&M and making eyes across a table in a public place. When we split the German chocolate slice I knew I was in. And as I fumbled my keys in the dark I knew I should hit the red button but I couldn’t.

The next morning I resisted the urge to text my usual “had a wonderful time, don’t be a stranger” text because it never works. But to my surprise he texted me. And continued to text me, first, every day for three weeks. Early mornings, late nights, holiday, weekends. There were inside jokes, pictures, smileys. It was like old times. And I let it go on because I can’t push the red button.

And then one day it was over. As quickly as it started. He texted me a picture and then poof he stopped responding to me.

So here I am sitting in my office, unable to concentrate on my real life, because once again.. I’ve done something that I’m not even able to identify. Nothing I did yesterday was any different from what I did the day before, or the two days before that.

This is the problem with existing at someone’s whim. You never know what you’re doing and if it’s okay or if it’s wrong. You never know if the joke you tell is going to be what sends someone running, or if sending a smiley face is going to be the end of everything.

The thing is, it isn’t. It isn’t anything I do, other than existing. It’s a problem that I exist. Because I am a distraction from his reality, because I am a temptress from what is good. So even if there was nothing wrong with what I wrote back, it’s all up to his whim. Everything has always been on his terms.

I figure the options are pretty much as follows: he lost his phone/fell off a cliff/whatever else makes me sleep better at night, he enjoys making me miserable (probable), he feels guilty and/or got caught by his wife (likely).

These things used to wreck me for months. I would be distraught and unable to work, eat, or sleep. And I would drool like Pavlov’s dog when I heard my phone buzz (and even when I didn’t..the phantom iPhone vibration is the worst). But I am determined not to let this wreck me for long than a day. I deleted the number entirely, and that’s great because I didn’t give myself time to remember it.

I know that the choice will come again, that I will have to choose between red and green, good and evil, mentally healthy and unhealthy. There is no use beating myself up for this choice. I will just make the right choice next time.

Hi.

 

Help A Sister Out

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Hey ya’ll.

This is not a typical post. This is a plea for help from a friend of mine. It’s relationship related, so I feel it’s okay to bring it up here!

My friend has a problem–a nasty break up has left her feeling heart-sick and she has texted the boy a few times to no avail. My first thought was “stop, you’ll look like me!” (see example: Image)

Too late, already there she says. At a certain point too many texts in a row start to pile up.

My suggestion to her was to write down the texts, think about it a day, and then determine if she really wants to send it. I also suggested deleting the number and restoring your phone so you can’t recover it. That worked for me once.

I feel her pain. I think texting is so tempting post-break up. Calling seems like a huge undertaking. I mean, there’s a 50% chance they might pick up the phone. Texting seems innocuous enough that you can send one or two without it being too extreme on the bad ex-girlfriend scale. (Trust me when I say that The Boyfriend will vouch that texting was the least of my problems on that scale. Eek). Texting, in my opinion, is prevalent in a break up where calling may not be.

Anyway, I need suggestions beyond my solutions. It seems silly but that’s the best I’ve got. I am absolutely no pro at abstaining from contact (I submit that previous screen shot as proof). I need your input here…what’s your suggestion?

I know many of you read but few of you comment. Be loud this time! Have you figured out the secret? Is there no way around it? Tell Brunette it’s not abnormal. Tell her there’s a solution.

Thanks ya’ll.

Now And Then I Think Of All The Times You Screwed Me Over

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This Is It

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I am a good liar. In fact, I’m such a good liar that I will often lie to people about what a bad liar I am. It’s twisted and something that I figure only a therapist can work through. But for nearly two months I’ve been finding it harder and harder to lie about something in particular. Don’t worry, I’m still lying when I say I didn’t see your text, or that I have plans (I never have plans, I don’t even want to have plans anymore) and I’m definitely still lying when I say I’ve read the Terms of Service Agreement for anything I sign up for.

 

I just can’t lie to myself. I can’t keep telling myself that it’s all okay when it’s really not. For about six months or so after I moved out of the apartment with The Boyfriend (Jesus Christ I have to get another name for him) I had trouble making it through the drive to work or the drive home without tears welling up in my eyes. I think it was the immediate feelings of lonesomeness that drove me to cry. I was clinically depressed for various reasons, and when I finally learned to be comfortable in my skin it stopped. But for the past two months it’s crept in again. I find myself gripping the steering wheel too tightly, turning off the radio because I don’t want to hear another rendition of Call Me Maybe, and without even realizing it tears drip onto my cheeks out from under my sunglasses.

It’s usually over before I get home, but the other night I sat at the bar with Bosslady and finally managed to squeak out the words that I had avoided for four years. “What if this is all there is?”

I think Bosslady was confused because I put up a pretty good front most of the time. I am the life of the party and of the day-to-day. In fact, I swear to God that I invented YOLO. For so long I have been the girl who will stay out at any hour of any night, will be down for anything fun. And any time somebody might have the ‘audacity’ to ask me what I’m doing with my life, what I’m planning on doing in the future, and why I don’t have somebody in my life, I’ve been the very first person to tell you that 27 is too young for all that. It’s too young to be married, too young to have children, too young to be tied to a mortgage, and certainly too young to be worried if you don’t have these things. You can be old for a long time. You only have a limited amount of time to be young and wild.

I put up a brave fight and I have plenty of fun sayings to explain why I’m too fabulous to be tied down, but the truth is for the past couple of months I’ve really had the sinking feeling that maybe this is all I am–a good friend, a good daughter, a good employee. But not a good wife. Or a good mother.

“You’re too young to think that way”, she said, as I started to cry harder than I should have in a bar.

“Some people don’t get married, some people don’t have children.” I think that’s what I said, but I’m fairly certain neither of us really understood what I said. She made do with what she heard.

“Listen, you have to be certain that if this is all there is for you, and I don’t think that’s the case, but if it is, you have to sure that what you have is good. Are you okay if this is all there is?”

What I have is good. I have a job that I love. It pays my bills. My friends are great people, they really do enrich my life. And I love my family. But that’s not enough for me. There are things I want to experience in life. I want a partner, I want to have children. I want a family of my own.

And there is no material item, no vacation, no friend that can make it well with my soul if I it doesn’t happen for me. I could drive a Maserati and live in a gated community and have a toilet made of solid gold and it would not be well with my soul that I didn’t have a partner or child. And I’m beginning to think that may not happen.

So what now? What do I do when I know that nothing will make this good with my soul?

It takes a really messed up person to start doubting yourself and your ability to find a mate at 27. But that’s where I am.

The Friend is married, another guy wrote me the other day to tell me he’s getting married. Thanks for the heads-up. And The Boyfriend moved on pretty easily. Going to get married. Married, married, married.

And here I sit with this failure of a blog that has only really successfully detailed for you my inability to move on from these ‘tragedies’ that other people so easily have moved past. I mean, The Boyfriend and I are Facebook friends now and he actually sends me friendly messages–that’s how okay that whole thing is now. Why am I the one that ended up alone out of all these people I know? I know that’s a selfish way to look at it. But sometimes I feel selfish. Sometimes I would think all those boys would call me selfish. Sometimes? Most of the time.

The thing is…I thought I did all the heavy lifting. I thought I took the time to evaluate myself, make myself better, figure out what I wanted in life. I thought that I slowed down and that was the right thing. I thought out of all of us, I would be the healthiest because I was figuring out what went wrong. But maybe I didn’t. Maybe I just took all my momentum.

I don’t know. I just know that there are times of the day that I freeze and wonder if it’s really not going to happen for me.

You know what, I’m fine. I have plans. I’m too young to worry about this.

 

Why Are You Hiding Behind That Espresso Machine?

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I haven’t logged in to my FormSpring account in a while, so imagine my surprise when I noted that I actually had pending questions there. One of the first questions I noticed was something that I have had several hits for in Google searches this week. Since obviously you’re coming here for direction on this subject, poor person, let me tell you my thoughts…

 

Hi The Blonde.. Is Coffee Cheating?

Well hmm. First, let me just say that I am so sad to report that if you’re looking for someone with experience cheating, I’m your girl. I sincerely regret having an affair every single day of my existence for so many reasons. But maybe I can tell you the signs to look for so you can avoid my pitfall.

Of course, there are simple ways to know if it’s cheating. Maybe I’ll just list out some things you should ask yourself:

  • Did you meet this person on a dating site? Stop laughing! You would be surprised how many people Google the phrase “my husband has an OKCupid account”. If you are on a dating site, whether your relationship status says “in a relationship” or not and you meet someone for coffee, you’re clearly checking out the scene. You could be cheating.
  • Does your partner know? Have you explicitly said to your partner “I am meeting (this person) for coffee. I will be there at (this time) and will be home around (this time).” If you have, good for you. If you haven’t, you may be cheating. If you told them you’re meeting someone as a cover and are actually meeting someone else (whether you know the date or not, whether your partner knows the date or not!), you could be cheating. Also, just a side note, if you tell your partner you’re meeting ‘some people from work’ out for coffee and only the two of you show up.. and you knew that ahead of time.. guess what? You could be cheating. Trust me, in my experience nothing good ever came out of that situation. Sorry, He-Wh0-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Seriously, y’all, if you bend the truth about that meeting at all.. it’s not right.
  • Did you ask the person because you feel like you are unsure if you want to cheat or not? Your partner probably isn’t going to buy this one, but I can say it’s a possibility. But still, you could be cheating. That’s like playing ‘Just the Tip’. In my book, it counts.
  • What would you tell a third-party you saw out? Would you feel confident in an introduction? Would you hide behind a menu in a Chinese restaurant and try to sink into the floor and pray that your heartbeat pounding in your throat isn’t audible (not that I have done that..)? That makes a huge difference. If it’s coffee with a coworker and you’d still feel funny about it… you know the story.

These are just four questions that I ask myself when I’m assessing how I feel about meeting someone out. While there is no litmus test at all for “cheating” or measuring just how far is too far, I will say that my number one biggest red-flag is “Does it feel it wrong?” Does it feel like something you should hide, something you’d be sensitive about, something you wouldn’t tell your partner? If it does.. really, really think about your motivation for going. Think about how you’d feel if your partner found out. Whether its relief (uh that’s a huge hint) or shame (hello?!) whatever you find in that question could be a guide for the future. I’m not saying you shouldn’t meet that person for coffee. I’m just saying know what you’re getting in to. Maybe your coffee mate is something you want to pursue.

 

So think about it. And then call me because if it’s a toxic idea I’m almost always involved (sigh).

 

***DISCLAIMER: Every relationship is different, I am no expert, one woman’s accusation of cheating is another woman’s rosey-relationship, I’m not responsible for anything you do in your real life, don’t blame me, blah blah blah. I get it. This is just how I’d answer the question myself.

 

Here’s the fun part.. you get to tell me how wrong I am in the comments! Go!

Liberating Your Pleasure Wave And Other Philosophical Observations By OKCupid Users

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The good news is in between the last time I complained about OkCupid and today, I found the button to disable my profile. The bad news is that leaves me with very little fodder to feed you readers because all of my humorous stories originated from the misguided aim of Cupid’s arrow.

I’ve always felt a little guilty about taking specific examples from my OKCupid interactions and posting them because it DOES take guts to contact matches on dating websites. I rarely do it myself because it’s hard to put yourself out there, and I admire those of you who do it regularly! But for the love of everything holy, what are some of these people thinking?! Still, I like to think that despite the fact that I am a cold-hearted, cheating ex-Girlfriend I do have some compassion left in my heart. So I’ve held off sharing the specific instances that caused guffaws. Unless I actually met them in person. I don’t know why the rules changed then.

Lucky for you a good friend sent me a Buzzfeed link with 26 examples of absolutely horrible OKCupid combinations. Seems like the people at Buzzfeed are more willing to jump in the hand-basket destined for the home of ragged clothing and flames than I am. You should check this out– some are pictures, some are quotes, some are both. Please note the gentlemen that wants to liberate your pleasure wave. I’ll give you a 10 second headstart, ladies, otherwise he’s mine.

Since I did close down my OKCupid account I feel like I can share with you the message that caused me to throw my hands up and say “Why am I trying?” (and “What is wrong with my writing skills that this is what I’m attracting). It’s definitely not the worst I’ve gotten on there. I’ve gotten messages that would make 50 Shades of Gray fans blush– I think it’s the plight of a blonde lady to take disgusting messages on dating websites. I’ve gotten random questions (“What flavor of yogurt are you? I actually answered that one!) and friendly suggestions (thank you, gentleman who said I should take out the paragraph about my love of college football! you made me feel very good about myself). But this was the last straw, and I don’t know why:

 

But…what about unicorns?!

What about you readers? Do you like waterfalls, rainbows, and fields filled with flowers? Let me know, I might know somebody you should meet!

 

(One day I will stop being a bitch, okay?)

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